What is the most loving choice I can make for myself at this moment?

Self-care, which is ultimately about self-love, is essential to mental, emotional, physical and spiritual wellbeing.

But what does non-consumer-based, self-care look like in practice?

(Hint: there are no monetary costs involved necessarily.)

Here are some of the strategies I use and teach clients:

Ask yourself “What do I need at this moment? How can I love myself right now? What is the most loving choice I can make at this moment for myself?” Make space to really hear the answer that comes from this internal asking.
Designate space to slow down, to quiet yourself, to withdraw from external stimuli, to really be present with yourself and your inner world of thoughts, feelings, sensations, and emotions.
Be with all the feelings, thoughts, mental noise, sensations, messages you receive in this space particularly those that arise that surprise you. Resist the temptation to judge or push away anything. Welcome all that arises, but do not attach yourself to any of it. Hold a space of curiosity and neutrality. Let go, surrender, allow, flow, and open to grace. Activate self-compassion and patience with this.
Make intentional time and space for letting go, contemplation, and for rest on a daily basis. Minimize distractions and stimulation during designated quiet times. This is not the same as suggestions 2 & 3 which is a slightly more active inner exploration. This is a passive state of surrender whereby the parasympathetic nervous system is fully engaged. This state is where healing, replenishment, and nourishment can begin to permeate your being which will result in changes to your waking experiences whereby calmness and gentleness become more present.
Resist jumping up and running towards action. Allow for no action consistently. This activates the parasympathetic nervous system and thus repairs, regenerates, and soothes the intrinsic cardiac nervous system.
Let go of expectations . (The trick with this one is knowing where your expectations lay. These can be unconsciously operating. An expectation is usually connected to stressful circumstances). Let go of the need to know what is happening and why. Let go of the need for a narrative.
Make space for gratitude. Make a list or just practice turning your attention to one or two areas of your life where you can feel gratitude. The most important piece here is not making it a mental exercise but rather an actual feeling experience.
Create a physical space where you can access your vulnerability with others or alone. If the thought of doing it with others is terrifying or unfamiliar, start with yourself. If the word vulnerable is not in your vocabulary. Start there. It is about opening yourself to feeling. Take 5 minutes for this. Make this space beautiful and comfortable to support the letting down and letting go process. Make this practice a ritual.
Honor your sensitive states. Protect yourself from harshness when these states are particularly heightened as they will inevitably be at times. A clue that you are feeling sensitive is irritability, grouchiness, quick-tempered, impatient, or hyper-arousal.
Listen to the inner scripts of negative talk and criticism. Lovingly give them space to breathe, transform and heal in the loving presence of your compassionate attention.
Prioritize your chosen practices which is prioritizing loving yourself daily or as much as you can afford.

If anything in this list intrigues you or confuses you, and you sense you need support with cultivating a practice of self-care and self-love, reach out to me to schedule a session. I specialize in substance-free autonomic nervous system support and healing states of consciousness for accessing and releasing stress, trauma, attachment wounds, pain, depression and anxiety.